So I never said a word.
Because I love the people I profess to hate, and hate those I seem to love. Just to try and stay in control.
If it was just me, I would never lie. But they love the others, and they hate the others. And they have the ones I love, and they are the ones I love, and I hate them. But I love them too, because that's just how it's supposed to be.
Sometimes when I feel sick of myself, I convert myself into two people. One is raw, and the other is completely practical. I let them do the fighting.
Graduation is on the 16th;/17th. I've decided what sort of bhoot I'm going to look like. Just hope there are no embarrassing moments.
If I ever kept a secret, or let it out, it was only to save someone else. When it comes to me, if you look closely, there are no secrets. And that's why I'm so afraid.
I love my friends, though. They actually seem like they'll stick around.
It's kind of strange, looking at the pictures on my wall. I don't even speak to some of the girls in that picture anymore. And yet, there they are, smiling at me with made-up, glazed over eyes, every single morning.
I wish they hadn't drifted away from me. Because I'd loved them all at some point in my life.
But I suppose it was for the good of everyone.
I remember feeling rather lonely at last year's graduation--the one we threw the senior batch. I don't know why I was, despite being surrounded by 50+ of my friends--but I was.
I'm not lonely anymore. Sometimes I'm euphoric, sometimes I'm miserable. But I'm not lonely.
I love my friends so much. I don't know whether it's funny or sad that they will never realize just how much I mean that statement.
